Have you been out on a date with a guy and haven’t heard back from him?
You can’t stop thinking about him because you felt that you both had a good time together. Now you’re starting to think “Should I Call Him?” because you’re sick of waiting for him to call. I don’t blame you, as I used to be in that same situation. Going out with a guy and then not hearing from him the next day even though you thought you had such a great time together. Then you start thinking if you did something wrong? Maybe he didn’t think you were attractive? Maybe you said something wrong?
This is where you are thinking too much, so to help you out, let’s look at why it’s important to weigh up a few options before you call him to first to see what would be the best way forward to get the best results for you. As I want to make this about you, not him. Because at this point, you’re probably lacking some self-esteem and if he was to call you, you would then know that you’re important enough for him to talk to.
Here’s 4 reasons for you to ponder on whether you should call him or not:
1. Did He Try to Call You First? If Not, Why do You Want to Talk to Him?
If he did try and call you first, then yes, I would recommend calling him back. Unless you really don’t want to talk to him. Otherwise, take some time now to really think about why you want to talk to him. Are you sure it is him you really want to talk to? Or do you only want to call him because you liked the attention you got from him. Especially if you’re really attracted to him. Maybe you’re thinking there’s no one else out there that’s as good as he is. Really?
So why do you want to talk to him or hear from him? Was he such a gentleman that he made you feel special, important, looked after and protected?
Think back to the times you have already spent together. Did conversations flow with ease? Did you really connect with him on a lot of levels like emotionally, intellectually, spiritually? Do you have a lot in common so that you’ll be able to spend quality time together? These would be a lot of good reasons to want to talk to him, but he has got to want to talk to you too.
2. What Are His Good and Bad Points?
How did he treat you when you were spending time together, talking on the phone or texting?
This is what’s really going to give you the best information as to whether it’s worth you calling him, or if you should answer when he calls you.
What are his good points?
When I was looking for the right guy for me, after a lot of frustration, I found it easier to list their good and bad points to help me see if it was worth spending my quality time to get to know him more. There are a lot of signs they will give you too early on, so rather than getting caught up in his good looks, you need to pay attention to how he makes you feel and how you make him feel.
So how does he make you feel? Is he interested in what you do and the things you enjoy? Is he polite and courteous? Does he listen to you and respond with more questions to get to know the real you better?
Do you laugh a lot together? Does he flirt with you as much as you might unconsciously flirt with him? Does he only speak kindly of you or does he put you down and hurt your feelings?
What are his bad points?
Does he offer to pick you up or drop you home? Does he only want to be with you when he’s going to get something from you? Does he swear too much that it makes you uncomfortable? Does he drink or smoke too much?
Think about all the conversations you have had with him. Does he ask about you and how you are? Does he want to know your hopes and dreams for the future?
Does he put you down, even in front of others and even if it sounds like a joke?
These are all things to pay attention to when you’re together, talking on the phone or messaging.
3. Would You Both Work Well Together In The Future?
Still thinking if you should call him?
Well, now think about how you would both work together in the future as a couple. Do you have similar interests so you can both spend time together and have fun?
If you want to travel, do you know if he wants to travel too, or would you be leaving him behind?
Do you prefer the country and he’s more of a city boy?
Do you think of having a family and perhaps he doesn’t want children?
Basically it comes down to how the conversation flows when you’re together. It makes it easier when you have a few things in common you can both get excited about and talk about. Thinking about what he values and what you value, could you live with what he values and spends time on.
So for example, if he doesn’t value his health and you do, there may be a lot of arguments in the future. I had this issue with a guy I really liked and I was constantly telling him not to drink coke, to stop eating so many burgers and have more vegetables, especially when he started getting some health issues. But, as he didn’t value his health, he wouldn’t change and it became frustrating for me.
4. What Will Your Life Be Like If You Don’t Hear From Him or Call Him?
Maybe you might meet someone better suited to you?
Maybe you might have more time to study and get better with your career?
If you don’t call him, would he call you? This is what usually happens if he likes you as much as you like him. You will find he will call you or find a way to contact you to see how you’re going, what you’re up to and more importantly, he’ll want to spend physical time with you. This will be a green flag that he is definitely interested.
So, Should you Really Call Him?
If you do call him first, it would seem that you find getting to know him more important than he wants to get to know you, depending on how long it has been as well since you last spoke. If he has tried to call you, then it would be polite to call him back.
I would recommend you not to, as men have always felt more masculine when they are able to chase the women they are interested in to pursue for a relationship. So when you constantly contact him or try to contact him, you’re taking away that power he unconsciously enjoys in being able to pursue you as the prize. It will make him feel like you’re more worth it when he has to work hard for you.
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